Reflection of 2011

In 2011, many things happen to my family and myself. First, I was laid off from my job of six years at the title insurance company. I enjoyed being a at home Mom, with my son, but a realize that 10 years of office experience with no college degree will not get me the job I wanted.  Since the unemployment department allows people to go back to a two year college and has to be a specific degree.  I decided to go back to college. But at the same time, I was able to find a temporary job with Planar Systems in the Reseller Support department.

Then I got busy, working and going college full time. I decided on getting my Associates in Business Management because I would like to have a job with more responsibilities. Then my husband was gone for two weeks on business trip.  Since I was working full time and going to college at nights, I knew what it felt like being a single mom. 

After Spring term, I was offered my old job back and I took it. The reason being is that it had more opportunities to have a permanent job and have benefits. Since being laid off in January and losing great benefits, it is a goal of my husband and I to find better job with great benefits. I have been going to college and working ever since.

But emotionally, it has been a year of discovering who I am and what I want to do. Before this year, I knew what I wanted but never really did anything about it.  I guess turning 30 does that to some people. How I feel about my birthday is a sore subject and it nothing to do with the age thing. Anyhow, I still feel depress during Christmas season.  I do not know what it is, but right after Thanksgiving til mid-January early February, I am a stick in the mud.  It is hard for me to be happy. This year I really tried to focus on making it better.

Other than that I was trying to figure out what I want to do. Every thing from spiritual, emotional, to physical. Every time I hit a low or pray for guidance I get a new idea or way at looking at things. I have been grateful that I have grown more and learn more in this last year than I did in the last 10 years. So I still pray to God that every year will be happier and better than the last.

This Year's Goals

Most people do new year resolutions or live by a word for the year.  Some believe that write down or make a piece of art of your goals will make them come true.  I believe in writing them down but also doing something about it too. This year I am going to post my goals here but also I have next to my bed so I can see them every day, and help me make wise discisions in keeping the goals I want to achive.

I take a couple of weeks to decide on what goals I want to do for the year.  I reflect on the phyical changes, mential health and spritual. I try to make ten different goals, and try to have a few for each area of my life. I have been doing a lot of reading and praying to decide what I need to better myself and care for myself. So I would like to share my goals.

My goals for this year are the following:

~ No Candy, Cookies, Soda or sweeties except special occasions.
~ Excercise for 30 mins a day.
~ Have a baby.
~ Weigh myself every week.
~ Stop biting my nails.
~ Pray every morning, and read a chapter of the Bible.
~ Do something special for a friend or family member every week.
~ Check Google + and Facebook once a day.

So what do you for your goals? Do you do this once a year or a few times a year?

I plan to do if I succeed is to continue with a goal and review and add more goals as need through out the year.

Good luck to your goals.

Baby Steps

I have been struggling with myself for my most of my life. I was not happy (a mild term of putting it) with myself because I did not succeed in something nor had a purpose. When I started to think about this is when I realize that this year I will be turning 30. I third of my life have past and I do not know what I was going to do with the next 60 years. I started to ask myself some questions like: What do I want? What am I good at? What is the purpose of my life? Yes, I am married and have a son. I never thought this was possible when I was young because I had my first kiss and boyfriend at the age of 20. Before that I dream about if a man would love me and the children I would have. Also I started to think about other things like, what did I learn or do in my life so far. If you do not know what you have done, how do you learn what to do next?

So around the time of New Year’s, when everyone was talking about what or how they choose their New Year’s resolutions, when some people choose a word to live by to make themselves a better person. Also some people did the usually weight loss, quit smoking, change something. Which I thought that is something that you can do any time. But also I start to think: what are my goals in life?  What is my purpose in life? What God want me to do here? How do I know if I choose the right path? Or is it the one God wants me to do, or am I to blind to see what God is telling me?

I thought about it and found out that, what was making me so angry with myself was that I had never finished anything I started. I was not successful with getting my insurance license to become an insurance agent, or my own PartyLite business, or finishing college and getting a degree.  But I have the ambition, wanted to be successful and work at it. But I would get overwhelm with any large tasks that I want to do that I did not finish it. I did not know how to break it down to small tasks or was overwhelm with the extra work to break it down and complete the large task. I never had goals in life, never thought about what I want to be proud of doing or having purpose. I always thought if I won the lottery or was famous or was successful business person my life would be better.

So I started to some research on how to be positive and how people where successful in their lives. I have found a few motivational books that help me get into the right mind set. That some of these people, who are successful where willing to do anything that anyone else did not want to do. For example: Create a new way of doing things, new idea, how well they do their job.

So it took me some time to figure this out, with a lot of prayer. I kept on asking God what do you have plan for me? I know I can do anything, when there is a goal, a plan and have patience. I thought I was patience but only with others but not with myself. I thought I need to get things done right way, since there was no one else to rely on. I know that I never quiet do things right with the first time, but the second time I do it perfect. I have learned from my mistakes quickly. So I can achieve my goals if I am organized and patience that to see things through and that I will be able to do it.

That is why I have gone back to college, start to try to live healthy, and writing more. If I do these things and I want to be successful at them. I have to learn that I need to be patience with myself and take each thing as step by step and also that I will make mistakes once in a while. If I can do that then I can be successful.

Did some thing new today.

This is something we have all done in PE growing up. Strength exercise. But today when I was doing it, my 15 month old son was attacking me and giggling. He thought it was the funnest thing he has ever seen. He barely let me finish my reps and sets. I was laughing with him, kissing him, kind of made it a game. Since I know that exercise will help me feel better and getting healthier. I am trying to think be health will lose the weight not losing the weight will be health.

Of course the sun just came out and it is time for my little man nap. Of course he was mad that I put him down for a nap, I hope when he is up that I can still go for a walk. I am using Sparkpeople website to help me on my journey. I am taking very little baby steps. Hope it works.